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calligraphicwaves:

If someone cheats on you they do not love you, remember that. If someone cheats on you they do not care about you as much as they say they do. If someone cheats on you it means that for a split second you were off their mind long enough for them to put another person in arms that should only be for you. If someone cheats on you, dear god, I hope you don’t go back to them because you are worth so much more than that.

slayboybunny:

I just tried to discretely use one if the body sprays at work cuz it was called Fantasy Forest and I was like…. I’m down…. BUT IT JUST SMELLS LIKE REALLY STRONG DIRT AND A GUY YELLED “WHO SPRAYED THAT FOREST ELF SHIT” FROM ACROSS THE STORE

sir-hathaway:

berdmn:

fluxandpause:

Pros of being gay: both you and your wife would get into the lifeboats on the titanic.

Cons to being gay: both you and your husband drown on the Titanic

This took me a second. 

k4rkl3s:

blaze it, i whisper as i light my homework on fire